Well, its been a while since i've been on here. Haha! Im in the midst of exams and actually everything is passing so quickly that i don't even know where to begin with.
Surprise! I'm going to Thailand in August !! I finally made it ! It was such a struggle to achieve this, but i can finally say i managed to do it ! Yay me !
There have been a lot of ups and downs (aka stress lmfao) but ive been able to get through it. I find my anxiety comes in spurts now, not as bad as it was before but its definately still there. I am trying to find ways to cope with it when i get extremely overwhelmed and anxious. As for my depression, it does come at times but definately not as bad as it was in the past. I've come to terms with a lot of things in life (although i havent really aged much- Im 21 now) and I think going through everything that I have in the past 3 years has made me stronger.
So many new beginnings to speak about. Thailand.Boys.School. Im graduating next year! Like what?! Just the other day I entered into University all lost and feeling stressed with studying, and now I have pretty much one yr left. I go to Thailand and then when i get back, one semester, and then i graduate! This is awesome!
As for Thailand, I am really excited! Its definately going to be a big change since I wont have anyone there with me, but i'm really excited about exploring a different,new, and amazing country! I'm gonna create a blog just for it so i can post pictures and stuff hehe!
Boys.. hmm.. all i can say is there is one, we arent dating or anything.... but everything was just unexpected. They always say you find someone when you least expect it- and thats just what happened lol. Don't really wanna talk much about him especially cause I dont wanna put up false hopes and whatnot, but I'll definately posts if we are official :D
Anyways I'm in the midst of finals but I thought i would at least post something here while Im on my break!
~ <3 ~
Tuesday, 19 April 2016
Friday, 25 September 2015
My New Beginning
New Beginning
~ Hey,
It's been a while since I've written in this blog. I don't even know where to start. It's been 2 years and a lot of things have changed. I have gotten to understand myself a lot more and even changed some of my behavioural patterns in order to make myself a happier person. I've realised that I really do need to put myself first and take better care of myself. They always say " You must love yourself first in order to love other beings". I definately agree with this saying. Well, i am now in my third year and there have been a lot of good and bad things that have happened during the two years i have been MIA on this blog!
First off, I have sustained a knee injury. Its actually a knee injury that has gotten worse because I never really took care of it for 5 years and just pushed myself to become a better dancer. I realised that i needed to keep up and try my best to improve as a dancer and I think that mentality got a little of the best of me haha! Added that I have a high pain tolerance, I dont usually feel the pain until I got my examination with the sports medicine doctor. I think the examination had irritated my knee and then when i started to do Physio, it just got even worse. I am usually one whom doesnt complain about my knee pain.... its only when i get home that you will see me on the floor being a baby hahah. So they diagnosed my injury as chondromalacia, which is basically when the cartilidge under the knee cap has all worn out, so there is fluid & the knee cap has gotten soft as a result of the fluid, so the knee cap goes out of place and what not. Hence the explanation for all the times my knee gives way, locks, and swells up. It explains why i cant bend down on my knees haha! Because of this injury, i have to refrain from dance. Dance is a huge part of my life- I've been doing it for 10 years now and its really hard to stop something that you have been doing for pretty much half of your life. At the moment, its really hard to accept that i cannot partake in any dance activities but I know I will for sure accept it later on. It is just that since i was starting third year, i was thinking on improving on my style of Hip-hop and expanding and learning various styles of dance. But since this news came along, I can't do it anymore. As they say, "Life always throws you curve balls, and it is up to you whether or not you catch the ball or dodge it".
On the other hand, having all this time off from dance can be used to spend more time in my studies so I can get better grades in order to be accept for my International Exchange. This is such a huge opportunity that I do not want to take for granted so I am really trying my best to achieve better results in order to get accepted! *Crosses fingers*
Well, this shall be the first part of my new beginning, I shall continue with the second part another time.
~~ <3
~ Hey,
It's been a while since I've written in this blog. I don't even know where to start. It's been 2 years and a lot of things have changed. I have gotten to understand myself a lot more and even changed some of my behavioural patterns in order to make myself a happier person. I've realised that I really do need to put myself first and take better care of myself. They always say " You must love yourself first in order to love other beings". I definately agree with this saying. Well, i am now in my third year and there have been a lot of good and bad things that have happened during the two years i have been MIA on this blog!
First off, I have sustained a knee injury. Its actually a knee injury that has gotten worse because I never really took care of it for 5 years and just pushed myself to become a better dancer. I realised that i needed to keep up and try my best to improve as a dancer and I think that mentality got a little of the best of me haha! Added that I have a high pain tolerance, I dont usually feel the pain until I got my examination with the sports medicine doctor. I think the examination had irritated my knee and then when i started to do Physio, it just got even worse. I am usually one whom doesnt complain about my knee pain.... its only when i get home that you will see me on the floor being a baby hahah. So they diagnosed my injury as chondromalacia, which is basically when the cartilidge under the knee cap has all worn out, so there is fluid & the knee cap has gotten soft as a result of the fluid, so the knee cap goes out of place and what not. Hence the explanation for all the times my knee gives way, locks, and swells up. It explains why i cant bend down on my knees haha! Because of this injury, i have to refrain from dance. Dance is a huge part of my life- I've been doing it for 10 years now and its really hard to stop something that you have been doing for pretty much half of your life. At the moment, its really hard to accept that i cannot partake in any dance activities but I know I will for sure accept it later on. It is just that since i was starting third year, i was thinking on improving on my style of Hip-hop and expanding and learning various styles of dance. But since this news came along, I can't do it anymore. As they say, "Life always throws you curve balls, and it is up to you whether or not you catch the ball or dodge it".
On the other hand, having all this time off from dance can be used to spend more time in my studies so I can get better grades in order to be accept for my International Exchange. This is such a huge opportunity that I do not want to take for granted so I am really trying my best to achieve better results in order to get accepted! *Crosses fingers*
Well, this shall be the first part of my new beginning, I shall continue with the second part another time.
~~ <3
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
stressed
my mom thinks im suicidal.. i wouldnt quite call it being suicidal.. i just get very stressed to the point where i dont think its worth living.
i feel very sorry towards my mom because shes really worried about me.. im trying my utmost best to hide all my stress but she told me it shows through my face.
i keep praying to god that things would get better and im just patiently waiting for something good to happen.
Tuesday, 1 October 2013
A new beginning ~
Well, i have started a new chapter in my life :)
I haven't been posting much in this blog but i feel that i need to post more.:) I have now started uni and its such a big difference compared to high school ! the work load is completely different (its basically all up to you to do it lol ) and its just a whole other level of maturity that you have to reach. I am really liking the uni life so far although i dont see my bestfriends every day :( lol its different.
as for the whole parents babying me situation, its getting a bit better i guess ? i basically put a stop to it everytime it happens, because lets face it. im in uni now and im not a little kid anymore lol. thats what my parents have to realise and stop being so paranoid. I know that im their only daughter and thats why i guess they are so protective over me but still.. im growing up :)
well lots of things happened so far, some i cant really begin to say what happened but on the good note my dance team is getting somewhat famous ;) i was walking into one of the uni's lounge when there were a group of people whom had noticed me and whispered to themselves "omggggg its herrr,..... shes partt of that dance teammm ommmg!!!!" and they were all smiling at me ... MY GOODNESSS I COULDNT HELP BUT TO SMILE. Wow to believe that my dance team has gotten so far its just amazing to hear this! I really didnt think we would have gotten to be so "big" lol . We at least made an accomplishment which was making it to the second rounds of the Kpop Cover Dance contest 2013 :) i am honestly so proud of my team and any time someone asks what i do, first thing i say is " im part of a dance team called OHDT, you should check out our videos :) " its like i am a little entrepreneur when it comes to my dance team lol. I am so proud of how far we've come its just amazing ! To be honest, i really thought that the team was breaking up because before, people weren't really showing up and whatnot to practices.. i was so scared during that time. I thought to myself... this really must be over.. my dreams of being in a dance team for long has ended... it was that close.. but instead, we ended up pulling our acts together and shaping up and improving tremendously before our performances (one in toronto before school started and one in september ). To be honest, i never thought that i would have the stamina to dance 4 dances LOL. But i managed to do it :) i think all of the members have definitely come a long way! i cant begin to say how proud i am :) Honestly, the team brings so much joy to me ... it relieves all my stress that i go through and i begin to feel happy again ! all the members of my team are like family to me, i dont know what i would do without them <3
anyways, i have a bunch of midterms coming up and oh boy have i ever began to study so crazily LOL ... gotta go and finish up this studying >_< lol good lord.. midterms XD
I haven't been posting much in this blog but i feel that i need to post more.:) I have now started uni and its such a big difference compared to high school ! the work load is completely different (its basically all up to you to do it lol ) and its just a whole other level of maturity that you have to reach. I am really liking the uni life so far although i dont see my bestfriends every day :( lol its different.
as for the whole parents babying me situation, its getting a bit better i guess ? i basically put a stop to it everytime it happens, because lets face it. im in uni now and im not a little kid anymore lol. thats what my parents have to realise and stop being so paranoid. I know that im their only daughter and thats why i guess they are so protective over me but still.. im growing up :)
well lots of things happened so far, some i cant really begin to say what happened but on the good note my dance team is getting somewhat famous ;) i was walking into one of the uni's lounge when there were a group of people whom had noticed me and whispered to themselves "omggggg its herrr,..... shes partt of that dance teammm ommmg!!!!" and they were all smiling at me ... MY GOODNESSS I COULDNT HELP BUT TO SMILE. Wow to believe that my dance team has gotten so far its just amazing to hear this! I really didnt think we would have gotten to be so "big" lol . We at least made an accomplishment which was making it to the second rounds of the Kpop Cover Dance contest 2013 :) i am honestly so proud of my team and any time someone asks what i do, first thing i say is " im part of a dance team called OHDT, you should check out our videos :) " its like i am a little entrepreneur when it comes to my dance team lol. I am so proud of how far we've come its just amazing ! To be honest, i really thought that the team was breaking up because before, people weren't really showing up and whatnot to practices.. i was so scared during that time. I thought to myself... this really must be over.. my dreams of being in a dance team for long has ended... it was that close.. but instead, we ended up pulling our acts together and shaping up and improving tremendously before our performances (one in toronto before school started and one in september ). To be honest, i never thought that i would have the stamina to dance 4 dances LOL. But i managed to do it :) i think all of the members have definitely come a long way! i cant begin to say how proud i am :) Honestly, the team brings so much joy to me ... it relieves all my stress that i go through and i begin to feel happy again ! all the members of my team are like family to me, i dont know what i would do without them <3
anyways, i have a bunch of midterms coming up and oh boy have i ever began to study so crazily LOL ... gotta go and finish up this studying >_< lol good lord.. midterms XD
Thursday, 21 March 2013
Smile.
I wonder why is everything just plummeting into this great dark abyss ? I know, i know, i am way too hard on myself. I wonder when i will stop being like this. If i don't stop im going to get myself sick. I just wish that what is happening right now wouldn't happen at this exact time. Well, they always say, things happen at that exact moment for a purpose. All i can do is keep my head up and try not to worry too much. As of right now .. I try and smile to my friends ( don't get me wrong, im not some majorly depressed person :) im usually happy all the time) but can't help to relapse into sadness again. Other things make me happy, give me tinglies but still the other problem is something that has a big weight on my shoulders. Its a bit too heavy for me now.
Thursday, 14 March 2013
Tiring./confused :S
Well they always say the only way you can break a continuous cycle is if you try something different. What more is there to do that is "different" in order for freedom.? It's tiring already.
.... I'm a little confused as to say what to do ? My brother's fiancé wants to invite me to their daughters birthday party? Now it's an easy answer.. Of course.. I'm the godmother so I would love to go there... But the thing is .. My brother and I have stopped talking ... It's been a year and a half already... We stopped talking because we had a bad relationship.. Now my parents don't want me being involved with him and I don't know... Should I go or not...?? I have given him many chances and I feel like in order not to be hurt its best not to go.. :/ it tears me apart knowing that I always talk to his fiancé and his daughter I have nothing against her.. Not to say I have anything against him,. It's just he never made an effort to have the brother sister relationship I've always wanted.
.... I'm a little confused as to say what to do ? My brother's fiancé wants to invite me to their daughters birthday party? Now it's an easy answer.. Of course.. I'm the godmother so I would love to go there... But the thing is .. My brother and I have stopped talking ... It's been a year and a half already... We stopped talking because we had a bad relationship.. Now my parents don't want me being involved with him and I don't know... Should I go or not...?? I have given him many chances and I feel like in order not to be hurt its best not to go.. :/ it tears me apart knowing that I always talk to his fiancé and his daughter I have nothing against her.. Not to say I have anything against him,. It's just he never made an effort to have the brother sister relationship I've always wanted.
Wednesday, 30 January 2013
...
Everything that I worked for is all gone.. Scholarships ... Down the drain.... I just give up ... I can't take it anymore...
Why is it always the ones who work so hard that end up feeling the pain the most?
Why is it always the ones who work so hard that end up feeling the pain the most?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)