Smile.

I wonder why is everything just plummeting into this great dark abyss ? I know, i know, i am way too hard on myself. I wonder when i will stop being like this. If i don't stop im going to get myself sick. I just wish that what is happening right now wouldn't happen at this exact time. Well, they always say, things happen at that exact moment for a purpose. All i can do is keep my head up and try not to worry too much. As of right now .. I try and smile to my friends ( don't get me wrong, im not some majorly depressed person :) im usually happy all the time) but can't help to relapse into sadness again. Other things make me happy, give me tinglies but still the other problem is something that has a big weight on my shoulders. Its a bit too heavy for me now.

Tiring./confused :S

Well they always say the only way you can break a continuous cycle is if you try something different. What more is there to do that is "different" in order for freedom.? It's tiring already.


.... I'm a little confused as to say what to do ? My brother's fiancé wants to invite me to their daughters birthday party? Now it's an easy answer.. Of course.. I'm the godmother so I would love to go there... But the thing is .. My brother and I have stopped talking ... It's been a year and a half already... We stopped talking because we had a bad relationship.. Now my parents don't want me being involved with him and I don't know... Should I go or not...?? I have given him many chances and I feel like in order not to be hurt its best not to go.. :/ it tears me apart knowing that I always talk to his fiancé and his daughter I have nothing against her.. Not to say I have anything against him,. It's just he never made an effort to have the brother sister relationship I've always wanted.